how strange...
i'm blogging.
well, my hair's wet cause i surrender to the deadly temptation of sloth too often so i take naps that are too long and baths at the unorthodox hour of 2 am.

which means i cant sleep. oh and i'm super moody and homicidal and irritated cause my dad wont call the plumber, my mum doesn't seem to care either and my toilet still isn't fixed. bloody pipes.

so i was blog sufing today. why? no idea. i'm suprised at myself. anyway, then i saw his name in some1's links. so i clicked on it due to my curiosity and that familiar feeling of uselessness. and there was nothing at his blog worth reading...kinda disappointing. so i went to her blog, again, curious and feeling useless. and her blog was inspiring and absolutely touching.
it was inspiring enough to start me blogging again. though i dont see any prospect of another post soon.

yea..so about her blog. its really sad, and i'm really really sorry abt it. and i hate sitting beside her everyday, seeing her smile but knowing she's not quite whole, wishing that i could do something or anything to help, but not knowing what to do, being too afraid to do anything, knowing i'd only make it worse, pretending to not show interest in bringing up the matter, being totally useless.
i dont like seeing him frequently, pretending we're total strangers, that we've never met, as if our existence are just illusions.

at the same time her blog is hopeful, indept, smart and witty. making me feel inspired, to talk, to not be a slob. and it makes me feel happy! but its a weird kind of happy. and theres alot of kinds of happy. but i cant really put a finger on what kind of happy it is. its not the YAY!! THAT IDIOTIC FAGGOT GOT SENT OUT OF THE HALL happy. or the OMG MY MOMMA BOUGHT ME A LLAMA happy. its a very suttle, almost hard to notice kind of happy and i'm pretty sure i'm not making sence right now. well, i guess it makes me happy cause its deep and beautiful not shallow and yucks like the shores of singapore beaches.

now i'm feeling weird mixture of sorrow and suttle happiness. yet i feel homicidal and annoyed at the stupid toilet. curses. oh and i feel pain too cause i was playing with my teeth again and i hit something a little too hard and now my teeth and gums are stingy. oh and i'm feeling the YAY kind of happy too cause i finally cleared up my room a little and i cant remember when how longs its been since i've seen so much of my bedroom floor. oh and i feel dryer now which means i can sleep. so i'm sleepy.

goodnight.